Girlhood
The word “girlhood” has been quite prevalent on Tik Tok lately thanks to the Barbie Movie and we most definitely need to talk about it.
I am a girl. I am a young woman. I am anything I want to be. And so are you. I was reminded of these foundational truths while leaving Edwards 18 Cinema walking hand in hand with my mom post Barbie Movie bonding. It may be my pink ensemble and stomach full of M&Ms talking, but that movie made my brain all sparkly. We talk about sparkles a decent amount on this blog and let me tell you I felt pink iridescent glitter all over that theater. It was radiating from the projector, oozing out of the walls, and consuming me with its shimmery magic.
I had an appointment with my Therapist Barbie this morning and we talked about how I am going back to school in a week. I was feeling anxious, excited, indifferent, motivated, and tired all at once. I cried too (Emotional Barbie accessories include, but are not limited to: tissues, tears, and fears) which felt good. The physical release of unloading emotion always helps me see my mind clearer (and makes room for more glitter.) I have been home for almost three months now and it’s showing. I feel stagnant, bored and hungry for a change. Don’t get me wrong this break has been relaxing, healing and absolutely necessary but I am ready to take on the world again. I am ready to learn, study, design, chant (currently defrosting my Sorority Barbie) , laugh, dance, party, and just live. Be a girl. I only get to be a 20 year old once. A junior in college once. My girlhood is precious and I am not going to let anyone/anything tarnish its beauty.
One might argue that I will not always be a girl. I am a woman now. An adult, doing adult things. But a woman is just a big-girl. A big-girl who files taxes, goes grocery shopping, has to get her car’s oil changed, is building her credit score, and is just trying to do her best; like she always has. A woman will always be a girl, she just might look a little different; stronger, taller, wiser, but a girl nonetheless. We will always have our girlhood. Our blissful bubble of glittery ignorance. It is that very ignorance being exposed which transforms a girl into a woman. Realizing her impact, strength, and presence in the midst of a world that may not see it like she does. Taking off the rose colored glasses and choosing to live anyway even though the world can be overwhelmingly suffocating. Finding a way to breathe. Live. Thrive. That is what makes me a big-girl. Not out of spite, but in spite of the world we live in.
Your girlhood may feel like it is over but it’s not. Like I said, being a woman and a big-girl are the same thing. The only thing that changes is your perception. The ever changing lens observing and understanding our surroundings. But there is also a mirror. One that lives in your back pocket to access when you need to see yourself. Your whole self. Every version, age, hobby, memory, and scar staring back at you. Reminding you of how far you have come and the growth you have experienced from then to now. Your girlhood lives in that mirror for you to reference when you feel lost or want to nurture your past self. Give her a hug, a high five, an apology, or even just a smile. Let her know that we are okay. We are breathing. Living. And thriving.
Even when you feel the most alone, you will always have YOU, your lens, and your mirror. Take in your surroundings, reflect upon yourself, and do the damn thing. You can do it. And you know how I know that? Because you, my friend, are a big-girl.
This big-girl is ready to go back to school, be Sorority Barbie, Interior Designer Barbie, Runner Barbie (really trying to keep up this hobby so wish me luck) Big Sister Barbie, and so much more. When I think of what the next month has in store for me I get overwhelmed with excitement (maybe a little anxiety) and I look into that mirror to see my little self. A blonde haired, blue eyed wonder with a toothy pre-braces grin floating in her glittery bubble. I know how proud she would be of me. And when I look back on 20 year old me in 10 years, I hope to possess the same pride and joy. That glittery gaze. That zest for life. That sparkle because we are way too awesome to lead a life anything short of what our past selves could only dream of. So take those big-girl dreams and make them come true. I love you so much and xoxo, HABO (Help A Barbie Out)
