Paige straus is back
Hello HAGO readers! I am pleased to reintroduce Paige Straus, a dear friend, mentor and roommate of mine. Paige is no stranger to the blog but in this entry, she reflects on the past two years of her life in glimpses from her journal! Happy HAGO Sunday and see you soon:)
FIRST JOURNAL ENTRY EVER
8/1/22 Pincrest, CA
This is definitely a new feeling being so vulnerable! EEK! Listening to the Bucket List project by Saba and reflecting on how much I’ve changed as a person since the first time I listened to it. Sophomore year of high school to senior year of college. Insane. Not to brag, but I’ve kinda become a kick-ass girl. I find comfort in loving others, which I used to not find very easy, but I really just think that I have a lot of love to give. Now in 15 days I have to go back to San Diego. This is the first time I've ever experienced not knowing what my next step in life is and I’m okay with it! Life will always work out. Everything happens for a reason. Peace out. Love ya. Xo, Paige
SELF CARE TUESDAY
8/30/22 San Diego, CA
I literally have no f*cking idea where the time could have gone. This transition back from the Lair is super jarring, but I can’t really say that it’s gotten a lot easier. The Lair of the Bear is the summer camp that I worked at for 2 yrs & have been going to with my family for 18! It is the best place ever, but hard to leave because you really do leave a piece of yourself there. Staff lives in the forest for 3 months at a time, seriously so. much. fun. It’s okay to feel anxious, confused, drained, etc. you’re SO not alone. Do what’s best for you and focus on the now. Be the person who others call sunshine! You’ll get through this stressful time, it’s okay. Be present.
MORE SELF CARE TUESDAY
9/13/22 San Diego, CA
Currently listening to Tyler the Creator (911/Mr. Lonely) waiting for my class to start. I’m in so much f*cking emotional pain. I literally haven’t felt this fragile/lonely/hurt in so long. This sh*t sucks.
TODAY IS 10/17!
10/17/22 San Diego, CA
Starting the day with a spin class, I Lived by OneRepublic came on and I was filled with gratitude.
Thankful for a healthy body that can move
Grateful for my support systems and friends
Grateful to have challenges in my life that I grow from
MONDAY BABY!!
1/30/23 San Diego, CA
Gooood morning! Or afternoon. It’s actually just noon. Songs on repeat right now: Across the Room - Odesza + Leon Bridges and Space Cadet - Flume. Today I don’t want to get toooo into the psyche of Paige Straus, but I want to reflect on a lot of the experiences that have made me... me! I see a lot of myself in my friends and vice versa. I think that in order to be a good friend, you have to be empathetic, non-judgemental, kind, and willing to step out of your comfort zone for others. In regards to the future, I know, trust, and truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and I’ll be exactly where I need to be in time. Manifesting that where I end up is fun, new, exciting, and brings people and experiences into my life. I want to learn about everyone and everything like a sponge! So enjoy it all!
OMGGGGG!!
3/6/23 San Diego, CA
I GOT INTO MICHIGAN!!!!!!! Wait that means I have to move to Michigan
A GREAT CATCH UP
8/17/23 Mission Viejo, CA
Hello journal! Man it’s been too long. My apologies for leaving you at home for 3 months. Lol. So much to tell you! First off, the stars have aligned, and Matt Hyland, aka the most awesome, kind hearted, warm, and loving person on Earth is your boyfriend. When we met two years ago I never thought we’d be together, although a girl could dream! Since May, I enjoyed a month at home, went to the Lair, moved to Berkeley, and am now getting ready to leave for Michigan! I had so much fun in the bay and I truly am so excited to come back someday. What a blessing it is to have found such a lovely lifelong friendship in Krista, I don’t know what I’d do without her either. Ugh just so much smile in me life. There are so many emotions and honestly my anxiety has been really bad hahah but life is exciting, and I just have to accept these feelings as they come. I’ll tell you more about it tomorrow. Xoxo!
“You are not obligated to be the person you were yesterday”
8/18/23 Mission Viejo, CA
Good morning journal! It’s 9:41 am and today I’m getting myself back. I’ve been struggling a lot with not feeling like I have a place, a wanderer, and I’m exhausted at not fully feeling comfortable in my surroundings. There’s been so much change in my life emotionally and physically, so it's been a little hard to be fully present. But today, I get my life back, because I am not obligated to be the person I was yesterday.
Delete TikTok. Do it. I have not looked back.
Read 20+ pages of a book every day. Replace the scroll with something that challenges your mind instead
Take more pictures of things in your life that are beautiful
Journal often. You know how much writing helps you
Move your body every day!! It'll be so cool to look back and say i did it
Engage with the people around you more. A little act of kindness always goes a long way
Drink more water + eat more good!
Keep yourself and your space clean
Learn something new about someone every day, and remember it. There’s power in being present (and power in being a good friend)
Embrace change with open arms, and trust you’re on the right path. Because you are.
HEY OLD FRIEND
4/29/24 Ann Arbor, MI
It’s been a while! Listening to Balance by Future Islands. Man, what a year it has been. Michigan, while I could go on and on about it, has changed my life in every single way. There is so much unfiltered gratitude in my body right now. I feel it in my throat, in my heart, and in my head. It’s like my body doesn’t know what to do with it. Today, I got a job that I am REALLY excited about!!! My family comes tomorrow. I graduate in 5 days?? Even though it’s scary, now I’m grateful to have the next step. How lucky am I to have a place to miss so much and people to celebrate with?? Xo, Paigey
UHHHHH
5/14/24 Benicia, CA
Uhhhh what is going on? I start a job tomorrow. I don't want to grow up?? Help?
ITS ALL JUST FUN AND GAMES
6/13/24 Walnut Creek, CA
Wait hi journal I love my job so much. Working with seniors is my purpose in life, genuinely I feel so fulfilled. We play games and laugh and I learn about them and they learn about me. I’m starting to get the hang of it more, which is awesome. Cheers to feeling like you’re on the right path!
HELP A GIRL OUT
7/2/24 San Francisco, CA
Welcome to the unfiltered, beautiful mess that are raw entries from my journal over the last two years. This is not even close to all of them, and there is a VERY wide range of emotions. If you’re anything like me, you write things down because it helps you feel things more, and also acts as an outlet to let sh*t go. I simply cannot stress enough how important it is to let sh*t go. I also cannot express how important it is that by doing so, you make room for the things in life that fill you up. Play as much as you can, and find out what those things are!!! I struggle a lot with the unknown and next
steps. I find that a lot of my anxiety comes from that - stressing about the future and what it might entail. While it is still hard to do, the power of being present is something I continually place a lot of emphasis on. The seasons change and so do we, and I find myself reflecting on the person I was before something unknown or unfamiliar happened to me. Kinda cringe every time I think about high school or early college me haha but it's ok! Part of getting older is not really knowing what comes next yet embracing it with open arms. Graduating college (twice), starting a new relationship, moving 2000 miles away from my family and friends, and starting a career. But, all of those things have shaped me into the person who I am and have taught me more about myself than ever. I still have so much left to learn in life, of course, but I’ve made it this far sometimes not knowing what’s to come, I think I’ll be okay the next time it happens.
