Alone Together
Hello! Another week another blog:) This week I was reminded just how wonderful it is to be alone. Not isolated, alone. Just me, myself and I enjoying ourselves. The level of contentment, independence and spontaneity I have already experienced this week has proven to be powerful. This summer let’s be alone together and support each other in our pursuit of spending quality time with ourselves.
I do not like silence. It doesn’t even have to be awkward silence, just silence in general. I always feel the need to fill the emptiness by talking to myself, humming, asking a clearly forced question, etc. I approach other aspects of my life in the same manor. I make sure that my days are filled with lots of noise. Most of this silence I try to avoid is a product of being alone. To me the word alone has a negative connotation; that you are all alone, isolated, trapped and sometimes unwanted. That is an unsettling thought to digest in my noisy tangled mind while my surroundings are eerily empty of all sound.
But what if I started to embrace the silence? Lean into the emptiness, block out the noise and just be?
My dear friend Chloe Blankenhorn sent me a podcast this week that completely rebranded my definition of the word “alone.” P.S: read Chloe’s blog entry about her Thought Bible from a few months back for more of her wisdom:) The Podcast is called Aware and Aggravated by Leo Skepi and the episode she sent me was #76 Become Ok With Being Alone. This 30 minute masterpiece breaks down how being alone should not be lonely at all. At least not in the way I previously thought.
#1: Being alone is a gift. An opportunity to nurture, grow, and care for yourself just as deeply as you do for everyone else. Treasure this time because as Leo says in the episode: someone is going to come along and mess it all up. And they better be worth disrupting the peace you have found within yourself.
#2: Being alone is temporary. I am not going to be alone forever and neither are you. Do I want a boyfriend? Duh. Can I control that? I wish. In the meantime I can date myself. Take myself out to dinner, shopping, for a beach picnic, coffee date, etc. Just because I do not have a significant other to do those things with (yet) does not mean I deserve them any less. If anything, this is practice for when the right person finds their way to us. And when they do, we will be ready:)
#3: Being alone is sometimes painful. Feelings of isolation and defeat make being alone suck. They really do. But #1 and 2 remind us what lies beyond the negativity. Let yourself feel those emotions but do not dwell on them. Give yourself grace and compassion in this season of your life. Be gentle and understand that there are so many other people going through exactly what you are going through. Hint: me!
With all of Leo’s words fresh in my mind I am inspired. Today I spent almost the entire day alone. And I have to say, it was fabulous. I woke up early and got ready for my lovely day ahead. I decided to go on a run on the coast in my new pink Lululemon shorts and listen to Reputation by Taylor Swift obviously. As soon as …Ready for It? the first track began to play I felt energized. Seeing other runners on my route motivated me and made me smile. Some were running alone just like me. They got up, put on their sneakers and chose to do something for themselves too. After my run I went down the street to grab a smoothie bowl; one of my favorite treats. I went to a new place off the 101 called Choice Juicery and it was so fire. I made sure to wear a bikini under my running clothes so I could hit the beach after. I drove down the coast a bit to my favorite spot Tide Park in Solana Beach. I walked down to the sand around 10am and cracked open Emily Henry’s new novel Happy Place. I read for a bit while the clouds where still clearing and then began to tan once the sun started to shine. I laid out for about an hour taking a few breaks to cool off in the ocean. The waves crashing, birds flying, and sun on my face felt magical. Around noon I packed up and jammed out to house music as I drove home. I made a few stops along the way to pick up a prescription, and a burrito for lunch. I melted into my living room couch burrito in hand feeling both amazing yet exhausted after my last 4ish hours alone. Then I went upstairs to my room to shower, scroll on Thred Up, and take a heavenly nap. I awoke from my nap and then watched Knives Out on my computer. Once the movie ended it was just about dinner time and I was in the mood for ice cream. The cool thing about being alone is that you can do whatever you want! So, I got ice cream for dinner: vanilla chocolate swirl with oreos and m&ms. Post nutritious meal, I hung out with my mom, watched some Vanderpump Rules and now I am writing this. What a day. Was it lonely? No. Was I alone? Yes. Of course I had little moments of insecurity throughout the day but that is normal. What matters is I did it. And I am so excited to keep bonding with myself.
Let’s be alone together, not lonely. This summer I hope we feel encouraged to do things for ourselves by ourselves. Find confidence and reassurance in our ability to do what makes us feel good and exercise our independence. It's not always going to be easy but at least you are not doing this by yourself. I am right here with you! xoxo, HAGO.
